The FMG

I've had a motherfucking busy few days. First of all, my com DIED on me. Let's see, it all started one fine Friday afternoon in College. I was in the library, plugged in my pendrive, and unplugged it when I left. When I got home, I realised a FREAKIN VIRUS had crept into my damn pendrive. No it wasn't those lousy viruses that you can easily delete, this one was a fucking prick. I had to google on ways to remove it, I did so, missed ONE TINY but CRITICAL INSTRUCTION, and fucked Windows. Man Windows Sux...

I had wanted to post something THAT very night. But the death of my com delayed everything. So, FUCK YOU STUPID COLLEGE KID. DOWNLOAD YOUR F-U-C-K-I-N-G PORN SOMEWHERE ELSE LAH. MOTHERFUCKERCHAOCHEEBYEKANINABUNABEHLANJIAOTUALAMPASIMOPENG*

*The above polymer of profanities can be broken down into 7 monomers, namely Motherfucker, ChaoCheeBye, Kaninabu, Nabeh, Lanjiao, Tualampa, SiMopeng. LXN would like to stress that under no circumstances should normal mortals attempt to use this profanity as it could be too long and you might die of lack of oxygen.

Since I'm on such a pissing rant-page(rampage), I shall continue with this. On the very same day(Friday), I was circling around the parking zone at Carrefour(It's pronounced Car-FOO, NOT Care-Four, FOO). I saw this fat Malay guy( I shall explain why I described him as such later) and his (Girlfriend, Mother, Daughter, Mistress, Sister) walking towards their car. So I drove stopped near them, turned on my signal light, and waited patiently.

Now I believe you already know that I'm a two-faced monkey. When I'm nice I'm EXTREMELY nice, but push it and I can be more evil than the Devil. And this FAT MALAY GUY(FMG) was PUSHING IT. After waiting in my car for 5(FIVE) FUCKING minutes, the FMG was still halfway through transferring the stuff from the trolley to his fucking car boot. Not that it was heavy as hell, it was JUST a FEW PUNY PLASTIC BAGS.


Another 2 minutes passed, Mr. FMG FINALLY finished transferring his stuff. I was about to mutter,"Finallyyyyyy" under my breath, WHEN HE STARTED TAKING STUFF OUT FROM THE CAR BOOT, and started loading some of it into the back seat.

MOTHERFUCKERCHAOCHEEBYEKANINASAIBOLANJIAOHAMBANCHAOAHPUI.


The FMG FINALLY finished his loading and got into his car.


*silence*


Reader : Phew?

Reader #2 : Finallyyyy?


LXN : I believe the right word to say is CHAOCHEEBYELANJIAOKANINABUCHAOJIBIETBOLAMPATIAOLULAOBU.

HE WAS IN THE CAR FOR FIVE MINUTES AND STILL HE DIDN'T COME OUT.



SEE THAT PERSON ON THE RIGHT? Mr. FUCKING FMG was SOOOOOO SLOW that TWO OTHER PEOPLE LEFT BEFORE HE DID. I WOULD'VE taken their spots but other people were already there. Still I did not honk, see how civic conscious I am? :P



When I least expected it, ANOTHER car parked about 2 or 3 cars away from Mr. KANINA FMG suddenly came out. I was ON TO THE SPOT faster than you can say "ChaoKaninaSaiBoLampa". On the way there I stopped behind Mr. LANJIAO FMG, who at that time STILL WASN'T OUT, for a total of 10 seconds, before turning into my new spot. I quickly locked my car, applied the steering lock and came out of my car as I wanted to show some rude hand gestures. When I got out, he MIRACULOUSLY was already at the other end of the parking zone. Geez, I wonder what made him speed up SO MUCH.


That fucking prick. I hope he crashes. Our country doesn't need this type of motherfuckers. And the reason why I called him the Fat Malay Guy was BECAUSE HE WAS THAT. I'm not being racist or anything. If he were a Chinese I would've called him something just as bad, or even worse. Dont start with that reason," Aiyah, he didn't see you mah.". He saw me alright, if I was close enough for the photos, I was close enough for him to see me.

PS : I found a picture which was taken er...6 years ago.

Fat meh? Not fat hor? Hor? Just a little more meat than your average 13-year old mah :)

Same one leh. Where got difference